Yet another time, i caught him outside have another girl. Yes, i know everyone is calling me stupid. Because i could have left him already. Is myself, i cant leave. because i loved him alot alot. I cannot lose him. & all i could do now, is to cry alone every night, hugging my Rilakumma pillow to sleep. Yet he can soundly sleep & dont know im crying. Im really wondering, what if one day i really pick up my brave heart & left him. Will he be even happier than now? Always same things happen. Before he wanna go out find his prey, he will treat me very very good. I swear, is good until i dont know what is his next step. I dont want to b his toy. Im a human too. I just want the 6mths ago de him. That’s all. The happy us. There wasnt anyone in the story, can i? 

I couldnt tell everyone, only afew, because friends are always the backstabbers. When they want you to help them out, they treat you superly good. Till i am so navie to trust “her”.. In the end, she backstab me. Nevermind, Its okays, since she can do these to me, i believe, her karmas will be here soon. Because what she has now, will be gone, very soon. When the time is right. Dont ask me whom i talking about. Because the one who do these to me, know clearly. Im not those people who’s mouth is bigger than the speaker. Is because i belive & trust her, i helped her with all my could, in the end, im just another chess. Its okay. Really. I believe she will regret for doing these to me. 

Sometimes somethings, we cannot be able to say out loud. Its better for things to happen already, then the one will know who hurt them the most. As for me? My love life sucks. All i just want is a man to love me with all his might & never cheat on me.. Will he be back the old him? I miss the old him, i used to love dearly.. 

I feel tired at times, & i wanna give up anytime, sooner or later.. I have lost all the confident in myself.. If he willing to be the old him, im willing to wait.. Because i love him. But if i leave, i will never ever turn back anymore. Because endurance always have a limit. But i believe my endurance is very very high..